The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
