totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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