she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
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Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
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It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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