I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
