these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
