Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Dick very happy bro
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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