I think I can smell my own vagina right now
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
