one might say we're banned from that church
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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