She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
