No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize