STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
