dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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