Just cropdusted the office
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
