the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize