but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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