I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
