Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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