4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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