Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
