Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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