bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
