people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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