and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize