i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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