Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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