just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
