Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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