stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
