The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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