You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She needs sedatives and a leash
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
