take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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