i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
