i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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