You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
