I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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