bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
