What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
