We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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