I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
