we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
