I looked at my own cervix.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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