call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Someone signed my nipple.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Shame - the story of my life.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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