If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
