i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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