The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
