Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My ATM looks so different sober.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
