Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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