i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Randomize
