She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
