I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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