I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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