Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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