just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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