let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize