I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
