Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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