the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
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She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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