C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
