My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize