The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
