Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
