If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
