I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
