oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
