She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
